Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Open letter to our "representatives"

Dear Congress and Senate,

With the publicity generated by today's internet blackout, I'm sure you have heard many arguments as to why SOPA and PIPA are horrible ideas.

(I'm sure you've also seen plenty of arguments in favor of such legislation — many of those arguments measuring about 3" x 6", with your personal/campaign/foundation/wife/dog/PAC's name appearing on the line after "To", and at least one comma in the $ box. Money is the best form of speech, after all. Steven Colbert says so.)

Well, turn up the light bulb a little bit and consider this.

You see, the internet is the modern-day bread and circus. It doesn't even require any scheduling on your part. No reserving the Colosseum. No making sure the vendors have goat kebabs and wine. You don't have to get water in to fake a naval battle. You don't have to contribute any of your slaves to fight the gladiators or be fed to the lions. All you have to do is LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE.

And if you don't?

The unwashed masses will not only have a lot more time on their hands to pay attention to what you're doing — they'll also be pissed off at you for fucking up their entertainment.

Remember who kept you from making this mistake when FEMA starts looking for warm bodies to liven up its concentration internment disaster camps, 'k?

Your pal,
J. M. Nsho

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